A Grimm Hairy Tail

One of my writing groups had a challenge to rewrite a fairy tale whose main character has been swapped from a different fairy tale. Here's my take: a spot of humor on this crazy Friday...


Once upon a time, in a dark and scary wood--

"Seriously? You're gonna go with dark and scary? Why not tenebrous or ominous?" Hare said. His silly smile interrupted by those awkwardly gigantic front teeth.

Tortoise frowned and looked up from his desk; his pen still in his stumpy paw. He breathed in and out. Twice. Trying to keep his slow and steady composure. "Who is writing the story my dear friend?" He blinked bulbous eyes.

Hare slouched on Tortoise's desk, looking over his paper with that ever-twitching nose of his. "All right, have it your way, but really 'Once upon a time' is kind of cliche. Don't you think?"

"You have your own paper, why don't you--"

"I already wrote a story Side-kick.  And you still weren't done, so I thought I'd help."

Tortoise sighed. "Thank you, but I really don't need your help."

"No really, how about this," Hare stretched his arms out in front of him as if he were visualizing some grandiose production.  "No one has ever been brave enough to enter the ominous and tenebrous woods behind Happy Valley until now..." He paused for dramatic effect. "Whatdya think?" 

"I think it's nice, you should write another."

"Another?" Hare's face fell and his ears drooped down passed his shoulders.

"Unless you have a better idea." Tortoise offered, but he knew there was no other idea. He and Hare had been locked up in that stone tower for weeks now. And truth be told, Hare was grinding on Tortoise's patience. That pink nose that never stopped twitching, that annoyingly cute little fluffy tail, and his ever-present chatter! The rodent wouldn't stop talking for a moment! Tortoise was delighted when he found two quills and some parchment paper. He'd encouraged Hare to write, thinking that for all the activity in his, excuse the pun, hare-brained head, he'd have tons to write.

But, alas. The thoughts in Hare's head weren't necessarily numerous, it was just that the inside of his brain was less like a sponge for knowledge and more like a pinball machine. The same idea just bounced around in there until it popped out between his buck teeth.

It was hopeless, they were trapped in that tower together, for eternity. All because Tortoise had made one hasty decision--at that fluffy animal's persistence--and ventured with him down that stupid rabbit hole!

"Hello!"

A voice from the outside!

Tortoise rose, Hare twitched nervously. Both of them reluctant to approach the one window. The last time they'd approached, it had been nothing more than a mockingbird.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair!"

Tortoise smiled. Surely one more hasty decision wouldn't hurt.